People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
