Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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