Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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