I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
