Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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