It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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