Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
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