What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
