it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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