you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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