I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
