But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
