My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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