i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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