Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
