tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
