I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
