When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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