Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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