he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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