I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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