I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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