guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize