So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
