Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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