Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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