at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
