help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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