the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i drank out of a bidet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He did a backflip because drugs
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
