it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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