I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize