I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Let's paint friendship bongs
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
