I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Your penis caused this!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
