i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit