God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
