she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club