office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.