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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...

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• (631): View more from New York

  Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?

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• (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (320): View more from Minnesota

  im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...

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• (818): View more from California

  I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Looks like I won that one

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  was it you?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ...yes

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.

  Fav 2 748 538

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