when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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