whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho