We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
