i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.