no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
