I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
