she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
