He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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