have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were trust falling into bushes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
