I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
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Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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