Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
