oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
