Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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