i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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