yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
