if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
