Acid is not a monday night drug
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
