his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
