i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
