The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
