oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just had sex bonerless
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
