So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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