So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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