kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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