WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
