so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
