and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
