Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize