Three words: puerto rican gang bang
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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