Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
