weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
