Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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