party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
