talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
